"I need to tell you something...don't panic"

These were the words I said to my roommate Sally last Monday night after relaxing at home. I found out later she thought that I was mad at her and "needed to talk"...I wish that was all I needed in that moment....

I was asking her not to panic because I did not want to panic. I was trying to be calm - cool - collected. I had been just about ready to go to bed, when I decided that 10pm was a good time for a chocolately treat. I ate a piece of candy and read a book. A half hour later...my throat began to itch...my tongue began to swell...yes friends, I was having an allergic reaction to a Brazil Nuts once again. *(some of you remember, not so foundly 2 years ago, when the same incicident happened and I was rushed in an ambulance to the ER!)

But this time, I convinced myself that I was ok - brushing my teeth and chewing gum would help me! (what was I thinking?!) I took two Benedryal and laid down. It actually got better...until a half hour later when my heart started racing a mile a minute and it got alittle more difficult to breathe. I then began to turn a shade of purple that is really not becoming - and sported some nice blood shot eyes. I knew this was for real now and I was too scared, yet again, to take my (epinephrine) epipen shot (i mean, hello, you have to JAB the 4 inch needle into your thigh - by yourself!!??)

So Sally and I made a run for our Thai friend and office housekeeper next door to drive us to the hospital, because really, we would not be able to explain to the ambulance where to come get us and why - i mean, my Thai is not THAT good! Of course, we forgot that she and her husband don't speak english either...and the sounds that Sally made of a siren "whoo whoo whoo!!" to show that we needed help fast - did not really resonate with them!?? So we did what any American in this situation would do...we stole the office car and drove to the ER (convienently down the street).
We got to the ER and the doctor looked 12 and was reading a medical book! Trying to explain to the doctor why I needed help...since he was convinced that because i was showing him the epipen in distress, that THAT is what made me sick...not that it would make me BETTER - was even more complicated....I wanted to cry. It is not easy being in a foreign land in most circumstance, nevermind a life or death one. And I really didn't want to die in Thailand.

But I maintained my composure (if not my friendly disposition) and advocated for relief. Sally was very sweet and helpful - tried to interpret my scratchy voice and concern, caress my head in a therapeutic way and cool my burning face. I was so thankful to not be alone.... He finally realized what i needed - he gave me a high dose shot of Antihystimine and Anti-inflammatory (even though I insisted he give me the epipen instead...) he was right and I was ok. We went home - I slept for 12 hours...(and Sally kept checking to make sure I was still breathing!) Just groggy for 2 days - all hopped up on the "A"!

I know it is stupid to eat candy when I can't read the ingredients. And I know it is stupid to have an epipen and not use it!? I do know that the good Lord wants me here and kept me here for a reason! I will be more careful - I promise...DON'T PANIC! :)